Refracted
by soshimi
Summary: Ashley decides to stay.
1. One

_I knew I didn't have a hope in hell as soon as those words came tumbling out of his mouth in the market precinct, she was always going to choose him. His proximity just reinforced that every time she left her room. I resigned myself to never getting much time planet-side after Liara was rescued, he was always picked for missions, no matter how small. All I wanted was to redeem my family's name, to show them that our family didn't deserve to have the reputation that we did but I never got the chance to, always stuck cleaning weapons._

_When it became clear that there was more between them than flirtatious banter, I was happy for them, if only they weren't so stuck on regs. After I died on Virmire, I couldn't leave without seeing how things worked out with the two of them. Shepard and I had some very interesting conversations about our former crew after she got spaced when the Normandy was destroyed. She wouldn't have remembered much, if any, after waking up in that base._

_Before Cerberus brought her back, I was without her company for a few months, so I decided to check out what Garrus, Tali, Wrex and the rest of the crew were up to, never would have figured Wrex would become a chieftain or Liam Roberts training to be a chef, when I happened upon Kaidan in the middle of a date with a pretty woman in her late 20's, from what I heard it wasn't going well. They parted ways as soon as they had finished eating, I tagged along behind him as he went back home once he had been to the off-licence to get some heavy-duty whisky, he was fairly out it when he began murmuring about about how much he missed Shepard, what he would do if she was still alive, how he wouldn't waste another minute on stupid regulations by that point he couldn't stop crying, I think he saw me then because he hasn't touched a drop of whisky since._

_Then what does he go and do but shout at her when she tries to explain, those two are so damn stubborn, if it was me who Cerberus had resurrected he'd have one heck of a black eye for that traitor remark. After all that grieving for her, to turn his back on her made no sense to me, Kaidan can barely expect her to be content with 'maybe', for someone so smart I never thought he'd be such an idiot. As long as he refuses to talk to her well, I'm not going anywhere, he'll just have to get used to seeing floating utensils and his towels disappearing. This could be fun._


	2. Two

(A/N: Sorry it took me so long to post this, life and family stuff got in the way, it's been in my file since last summer, I've tried to come up with a longer post for this chapter but it just wanted to be a shorter one this time. minor tweaks since the release date, just to cover the time lapse.

_Edit: I tried to update here a month ago but I'm also on AO3 evendeathlikespizza.)_

_(Revised version for the Mass Effect Big Bang on LJ. Artwork by chissbh.)  
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When I agreed to Tim setting me up, I just wanted to forget about everything for a while. To not think about Ashley or you - to not be me for once. She was nice enough, I suppose. Her name was Rachel (I think). She had that same lopsided smile that you had when you remembered something oddly funny or you were miles away in your own head, she even smelled like you used to on downtime. Damn it, three years and I still can't get away from that, Shep.

I've been having those nightmares again about Ash and Jenkins as husks or on those damn spikes and the alcohol isn't helping much anymore; sometimes I think I see them when I'm awake. There's been times when I'm alone and things start floating, even though I'm pretty sure it's not me doing it, is it?

Can't tell Anderson anything or he'd lock me in a sanitarium. The only thing I can do is get off the Citadel again and figure out what's happening to me. Perhaps If I go back to Eden Prime I won't see Jenkins as a husk trying to kill me every night. At least since horizon you aren't in my nightmares as one, it's a recurring one with your gouged body on a table at the hands of those Cerberus bastards. I'm not sure which is worse, all I know is I wake up shaking no matter which one it is.


	3. Three

Shepard stormed into the office, shouting so loudly that she could be heard in the C.I.C. "Miranda! Why? Why is my ship pink?"

Fingers flickering over the keyboard, she quickly closes the latest rant from her former boss. "Hello to you too, Commander. The décor of the ship was not my responsibility what with trying to resurrect you at the time."

_That's for selling my colossus._ Ashley smirked.

Taking advantage of the expensive furnishings, Shepard leans back on the couch. "Garrus? Tali?"

"No, Commander, he didn't. As far as I know, he detests the colour almost as much as you do and I'm not sure if colours appear differently to Tali through her helmet's tinted screen." Miranda admonished.

"Well, someone did and until they own up, NO-ONE is getting new armour."

"That's a bit harsh, Commander." Miranda replied.

"How did they find so much paint in that shade on the Citadel? And where the hell did they stow it?"

"I don't know, Commander. I don't remember any hollowed-out areas during the construction of the ship that you weren't told of."

"Clearly the Boss Man missed a few things. Are there any more recent nooks left on this ship that you don't know about, Miranda?"

"If you mean any in your cabin, no. Don't worry, Shepard, only EDI and I know about that one. Your little secret's safe with us."

Fishing the broken bugs out of her BDU pockets "You'll be wanting these back then?" Miranda spreads the tech across the desk "Are those all you found?"

Ignoring the last, Shepard changes tack "I've only known about that space for a few weeks. How did you find out? EDI?"

Miranda shakes her head, a single hair falling out of place, causing her to reach for the mirror in her drawer.

"What? More Cerberus crap on board? Which is it, cameras or bugs? I had Tali run a scan on the entire ship right after I pulled those out of the crew quarters and she's very thorough about foreign tech. So I know we got all of them." Shepard continued with that train of thought; "When did you plant the new ones?"

"Jacob and I were ordered to replace them straight away, the Illusive Man likes to have something to watch other than a sun's roiling surface. We made sure there were no cameras put back up though. It was creepy enough when it was footage of your surgeries."

"Uh, thanks. Surgeries, really?"

"Not just yours either."

"Oh. Sorry."

_RISE AND SHINE!_

_Thud_

_For someone who prefers adventure_

_Thud_

_You sure do have a lot of books..._

_Thud Thud Thud_

The last one dislodges a panel on the opposite wall making enough noise to wake up the neighbours judging by the banging on the door "Eh?" is all he can come up with.

"Oy, jackass, keep it down in there. I just got my kid back to sleep."

"Sorry, won't happen again." his neighbour's clearly looking over his shoulder at the disarray. "Jeez, dude. That's some collection you have, did you run out of shelf space?"

"No, just clearing out a few things. I'll be quieter."

"I'll take some off your hands if you'd like."

"Alright, I'll make a list of anything I'm getting rid of. Bye."

"Ok. Bye."Closing the door, he sits down with eyes squeezed shut to block out Ashley and the gaping hole in her armour again.

_Last one, may as well have a look._

_Since when do you read Dylan Thomas?_

Leaving it open in the middle.

_Thud_

Notices the books on the floor "What the?"

_About time._

'A stranger has come  
>To share my room in the house not right in the head,<br>A girl mad as birds

Bolting the door with her arm her plume  
>Strait in the mazed bed<br>She deludes the heaven-proof house with entering clouds'

The channel crackles with static. "Commander, I have a favour to ask of you. We received a comm from a scientist about the reapers. We need you to go to the Batarian system and break her out of prison. Her name is Dr. Amanda Kenson and I would consider it a personal favour if you could do this discreetly."


	4. Four

With a datapad in hand, the hologram finally flickers into being.

"What's the status of the Scavenger Project?"

The scientist casts a quick glance at the screen. "Subjects Four and Seven were unresponsive. Five and Six were unsuitable candidates. There had been a significant change in Subject Two but they have since gone to ground, Sir."

"Do we have tracking signals?"

"Last known location for all, is on the Citadel"

"Not for long. They may still be useful. Find them."

She's waiting at the gates for her children when one of the other parents screams "Krishek!"

It only takes a few minutes for the blastwave to reach their world on the outer rim of the system.

Between one second and the next, those watching blindly approach each other, unaware they are grouping together; the force of it causing blood to run from their eyes.

A change in pressure draws her attention to the one beside her as a hand slipped into hers.

Her last thought was that she's glad her kids don't have to see it coming now.

"Joker, get us out of here!"

_Oh God_

She forced herself to watch the planets disappear before running to the nearest toilet. Bent over and retching, she didn't notice the icy brush on her cheek. _Shepard, it's going to be so much worse than we thought when all we were worried about was Saren. I wish you could hear me._

"Oh God."

_Never been all that fond of Batarians in general but god-damn it takes a whole other level of fucked-up to push the button on 300,000 people, no-one deserves to die like that_.

"Joker, set up a comm link to Admiral Hackett please."

"Shepard, we just lost the Batarian Relay's signal. What happened out there?"

"It was destroyed, Admiral. The system is gone."

"I'm in the Hades-Gamma System. I'd like to see you in person, what's your ETA?"

"A fortnight, Admiral."

_Alright, Shepard, no way around this._

"EDI, is the temperature control playing up again?"

_Need to make a little detour first now that Joker's on a break. Let's see, third button down for system map, left panel relay co-ordinates, engine speed, FTL entry, ah there you are, fifth screen over._

"Do you have an update on the Scavenger Subjects for me?"

"Subject Seven is in Asari space, Four is on the Krogan homeworld. Two, Five and Six are still hard to track."

"Send me the data. This will need agents on the ground."

_Huh, those aren't the right stars._ "EDI, How long was I out?" "16 hours, Shepard. Do you need to see Dr. Chakwas again?" 'No, no, it's fine, EDI, I'll go to her this time."

_need a shower first_

checking her reflection in the bathroom. "Joker, how long 'til we reach the system?"

**"We're not headed for Hades, Commander."**

"What system are we in?"

**"Utopia, Commander."**

"Thanks, Joker."

"Excuse me, which direction is the cemetery?" couldn't ignore the way they flinched when his hand sparked. _Not here, not now._ "Hey, mister, you don't look so good, do you need a doctor?"

"No, thanks, just a headache"

"You're not from round here, where're you headed?"

"Just visiting an old friend, kid. So, the cemetery?"

"Sorry, my kid doesn't know. Jo, go inside."

"But, Mom..."

"It's getting dark, inside, now" A chill ran down his spine as he remembered the last time he heard that voice.

_Rahna?_ "You need any help, Mr...?"

"Kaidan, my name's Kaidan"

"Uh, thanks, Ma'am, could you point me in the right direction?"

"It's out past the mart and farms about an hour's drive, depending on traffic, to the east of town" His stomach rumbles causing him to look embarrassed, "It's been a while"

"I've some food to spare if you're hungry?"

"Thanks, Ma'am. Are there rooms for rent nearby?"

"At the opposite end of town."

Silence stretched out between them as the darkening sky promised a rough night ahead.

"Right, well Kaidan, I'm Diane, looks to me like you need some hot food and rest, don't worry, I used to work with people who had biotics so I know how bad it can get, you can sleep on the sofa and go in the morning."

Shrugging off her concern; "Really, if you could tell me the name of the building?"

"I don't think you're in any fit state to walk that far. Look like you're about to faint dead away if you don't get some food in you."


	5. Five

Standing in the doorway. "Jo, come on, breakfast's ready."

"Ok, Mom. Did Mum have a double-shift again?"

"Yeah, keep it down please, she's trying to sleep."

"Do you want me to wake up whatshisname?"

"Nah, eat up or you'll be late for school again."

It's not long before the drifting aroma of cooked food teases him enough to salivate "Long time since I had a fry-up, you didn't have to do all this."

"It was going spare, if I hadn't cooked it off today, I would've had to dump it. Jo, you got all your books?"

The girl makes a quick check through her backpack. "Yeah, Mom." Holding out a lunch-box, her mother pats down her hair.

"Thanks anyway, Diane. You've done enough for me already, I think I'll walk to the cemetery."

"It's at least three hours on foot, finish up, I'll drive you out there."

"Are you sure? We only met yesterday and you took me in, not that I'm not grateful you did but that's a lot of trust to have in a stranger."

"You really think I would take someone in without knowing how to defend myself and my family?" Shifts one side of her jacket "Since the abductions, it's one of the first things they teach new colonists now. There was a class round here a while back. If I need to, I will taze you."

"Alright, Diane. Lead the way."

"After that little speech? Nuh-uh, you first. Wait here, I have to lock up."

"Can't you leave me alone for one day?" She crouches down in front of him, answering him over her shoulder. "Oh, what fun would there be in that?"

He tries not to stare at the markings showing on her arms.

"Can't get rid of me that easily now your little shocks don't work so well anymore." Tracing the engraving, "Jenkins, huh, the one it started with..."

"Shut up."

In one lithe motion, she's facing him and the taint had now reached her neck, "Do you remember all the people that the Reapers took from the colony? How many were abducted? Forty? Fifty?"

"I couldn't do anything!"

Suddenly she's closed the distance between them, every freckle on her face is clearly visible. _How? Too close. No nonono._ "Surely you've heard the reports by now, all the planets they're attacking."

"Do you really think that all of them become husks?"

The creeping blue is in her face, twisted into an ugly smirk "That's just the tip of the iceberg."

He tries to pull back but it's _her, Amelle_ echoing through his mind. _Stay. Please._ She's whispering in his ear "Shh now, we have company."

"Hey Kaidan."

"Hello? Alenko? Didn't expect to see you today of all days."

"Jeff, what are you doing here? Did the brass send you to drag me back?"

"No, Anderson said you'd gone missing"

With hands twitching sporadically, a blue field envelops his old friend, flickering in and out. "I'm not going to the psych wards"

"You can't hold me up here forever."

"No, just long enough to not be followed."

"Kaidan, stop. Please, Anderson didn't send me, I came for Jenkins."

"...I thought you wouldn't remember him. You barely talked to anyone."

"I learnt not to get too friendly with soldiers on the ships I was posted to before. You know how it goes sometimes, what can I say, I liked the kid, the ship seemed livelier with him onboard. It was the same with Ashley. It wasn't like any other ship I've been on. It's more than just a hull and engines and a cross-species design and it's far more than Cerberus can understand, Normandy, well, she was something special."

"I'm...,"lowers his hand, "I'm sorry"

"Kaidan, I have to go back, the least I could do is offer you a lift home to your family, get you some help."

"You do want to go home, don't you?"

"Yes. Maybe not on the Normandy, I don't want her to see me like this."

"Well, if you don't want to hitch a ride, I'll pay for your ticket."

"No, Jeff. I can't let you do that. I have enough, I'll buy it myself. Please don't mention this to Amelle."

"I won't so long as you do get help. Come on, I'll walk out with you."


	6. Six

"Alenko, would you like to share this time?"

"No thanks, Doctor."

"It's called group therapy for a reason, Commander."

"Rian, if he doesn't want to talk yet then we shouldn't push him into it. Do you have anything you would like to share?"

"Sure, Doc. I got cleared for duty, I'm leaving next week."

"That's good, Rian. Where are they sending you?"

"Vancouver. Won't be long before you guys get orders, I guess."

Checking her watch "Our sessions' over. I'll see you all at the same time on Tuesday."

"Call the orderlies, Blue Buzz got out of his room again."

"If you find him, don't try to wake him up. Last one did that wound up in the infirmary for a broken leg. I'll get the tranq guns."

"Hey, Doctor, do you have a minute to talk?"

"Yeah, Kaidan, come in."

"I didn't want to mention it in front of the group but I've been having the nightmares again."

"Zombies?"

"Husks. Yeah, the puking husks one."

"Anyone in particular?"

"Joker and Amelle. I dreamt I'd put up a barrier but they didn't stop. I had to shoot them in the head."

"Why do you think it is that in these nightmares, it's usually your Normandy crewmates?"

"I don't know. It was so vivid, Doc, I can still feel the weight of it and there's this as well." pulling his gloves off "That flash burn wasn't there yesterday."

"When did you last have a check-up?"

"After Horizon"

"I'm referring you for a medical, Kaidan. I think whatever's causing this might be something I can't help you with."

"So Doc, what's the prognosis? Is there a medical reason for my ball of crazy?"

"We ran every possible test we could. Bloods tox screening, x-ray, MRI, biopsy, even spinal fluid and bone marrow. There were no results to confirm a diagnosis. We can't find anything physically wrong with you." Fidgeting with the clipboard, the salarian doctor, Chalon, continues; "Other than the energy spikes, have you had any unusual occurrences lately?"

"Other than the energy spikes, have you had any unusual occurrences lately?"

"Not really. I mean it's just been geth, collectors and Cerberus this past while."

"The three-headed dog guarding the gates of Hell? That's just a myth, surely?" The other doctor, Andalib Meskin, asks.

"The organisation that runs 'experiments' on soldiers. Why? How do you define unusual?"

"Not being able to find the reason for a patient's sporadic biotic flare ups would count as such in my book...The equipment you use, is it Alliance issue?"

"No, I bought pretty much everything fairly new after giving my report on Horizon, except for my amp. Why do you want to know about my gear?"

"A few older cases sound similar to yours. Where did you get the amp? Any branding on it?"

"I don't remember. I know Shepard gave it to me after we found Admiral Kahoku. Tali suggested the crew should recycle more, Shepard agreed so any 'new' gear was whatever we could find. It wasn't something we had a choice about to begin with. It's stupid of me to be sentimental about my equipment but it's one of the last things she gave me, I didn't want to get rid of it."

"Perhaps from a Cerberus mercenary? It may be exacerbating your symptoms. Kaidan, I'd like to sedate you before I take a look at the amp, to reduce the chance of another flare-up."

"Alright, Doc. I just want to know what's causing it."

Anderson received the alert two hours before his scheduled meeting with Staff Commander Alenko, enough time to pass on the data to his superiors in the Alliance and get his instructions to delay the crew of the unknown ship, a shame as he thought they had been good together.

"How are you, Admiral?" Kaidan asked, "Fine, Kaidan, thank you. You're looking a bit better than the last time we met. Please, sit down" Anderson gestured to the chair before pulling a file out of his desk.

"We have a new mission for you. We're setting up a new division because of the recent surge in biotics signing up and we want you to teach them back on Earth. You're being promoted to Major now as well. How soon can you have your ship ready to depart?" Kaidan considered where his crew were likely to be during their leave. "Three days at the most, Sir."

"Alright, I will forward the data to your ship." Anderson moved toward the balcony, "You may be there for quite some time, so stock up on any rations your crew may need for four to six months or so." Taking a glance at the datapad on the desk, he spots the location. "If you don't mind me asking, Sir, why so long on an island in the Pacific?"

"You'll understand what's in the file better when you get out there. That's everything, goodbye Kaidan, take care." "Goodbye, Admiral."

For a split second he thought it was Shepard in the Presidium but he just put it down to seeing a doppelgänger and headed for one of the bars to round up his squad. Shepard headed straight to Anderson's office when she could finally get through security.


	7. Seven

_Joker never did manage to scrub the search history on the ship's extranet hub._

_Ping. Ahh. Ungh. Harder, oh god_

"Whomever is using their omni-tool for porn, switch it off, watch it on your own time. Now we'll cover how to use powers in quick succession during fights."

"Er, Major?"

"Yes, Piotr?"

"Sir, It seems to be coming from over there." pointing towards the front of the room "From yours, Major."

_Oh shit, how did they even find that file?_

"Major? Are you blushing?"

_Giggling? Really?_

"Enough. Everyone outside now. We'll run through your lifts and throws from cover."

Five months later

"I don't think there's anything more I can teach you. Got word from the mainland, time to ship out. You'll receive your assignments soon."

"Yes, Sir."

"Good luck out there."

"You too, Sir."

"Amelle Kimberly Shepard. In all the time you've been back on earth, you don't think to call me?

"I'm still under arrest, Mom. No contact allowed."

"And the three years before?"

"Well, I was technically dead for most of that..."

"You were on the news for months, they said you had faked your own death. I held a memorial for you."

"I swear I didn't fake it, Mom."

"It's time, Vega. We need her here. If you have to, call me and I'll override the lockdown."

"Aye, Admiral."

"Diane, it's happening again." Absently stacking the dishes "What is?"

"That thing showing up over Eden a few years back. Look outside."

Drying her hands on the spare tea-towel, "Maran, fill a bag, those things will be heading for the cities."

"Where's the camera? One of them has stopped moving."

"It was on the sideboard. Where?"

Maran calls out from their bedroom, "About five miles out, I guess."

"Which direction?"

"Not far from your parents' farm. Isn't Jo out there today? I'll call them, tell them to leave. You keep packing."

"You know the Commander?"

"I used to."

"They're gonna be in there for hours. I'm off-duty soon, do you want to go for a drink?"

"Sure, a pint sounds good right about now."

"No answer. Maybe they left?"

"Keep trying. I'll load up the car and we'll head over."

"I'm not sure, Diane, everyone else seems to be going in the other direction."

"We can't leave her alone out there."

"She's not on her own. Bobby and your parents would know what to do, Jo and Lira will be as safe with them as they would be with us."

**'This is an urgent bulletin. We're receiving reports across the world of strange ships appearing over London, Tokyo, New York, New Orleans and Vienna.'**

'More sightings occurring over Moscow, Reykjavik and Vancouver.'

"Kaidan Alenko."

"James Vega."

"Alright, Vega. Where's your gear?"

"In my locker."

"Well, don't just stand there. Follow..." The words are lost on Vega, staring out at the new ships. "Are those what we're fighting, Major?"

"Yeah, they are." Beams are decimating the people on the streets, the rising panic in the room is infectious "James, move it. NOW!"

The walls shake and the burst of wind from the conference chamber knocks them off their feet.

Brushing the glass off the junior officer, they look for others in the lobby. "And Vega... if something's hurtling towards the building you're in, stay away from the windows."

"Where'd it hit?"

He can sense the world porting sharply once more. If he had eaten in the past few hours, there would be another stain on the carpet. "The door's blocked. We can't help them now. I'm going to the docks, you in or out?"

"I'm in."

_Skipper? Wake up._ "Shepard? Shepard, come on, you'll need a gun, we have to get out of here."


	8. Eight

"You wait here, I'll check the house."

The radio crackles at her side "Maran? Any sign of them?"

Bile rises in her throat at the sight of the wide scorch on the hillside "No. Stay in the car, Diane."

Exiting the house on the other side, she stoops to pick up her step-daughter's favourite toy; the model spaceship they bought her for Christmas after she got excited over all the vids of some Commander.

Turning it over, unsure as to what she should tell her wife. Crunching gravel and too late to hide it, tearing her attention up in time to watch her partner slump to the ground.

"Diane." Crawling over, she kneels down and cradles her wife in her arms. "She might have just dropped it. The car's gone, some of the guns too. They probably joined the evac line."

Ten minutes pass before either of them feel the need to speak. "We can't stay here. I'll get the ones left in the cabinet."

_Doing that to their own goons? Cerberus bastards. So much for 'pro-human'._

_WHAT THE HELL?_

"Alenko."

_Ashley?_

_So those times I was seeing you were real?_

"Yes and no. I did visit you a few times but I think a lot of what you were seeing was because of that Cerberus amp. Very possessive guy, that Tim."

_Where are we?_

"This, it's a place I used to go to when I was a kid. Sit down."

_Am I dead? What happens now?_

"No, Kaidan, you're not dead. You'll wake up in a hospital and you'll be in a lot of pain for a while. I've asked them to let you remember being here. I tried with Shepard before but with the amount of time she was here, it would have been too much."

"You'll also be able to see and hear me."

"Will you do something for me?"

_Sure, Ashley. What is it?_

"Visit my family when you're back on Earth."

Distracted by a blur, the car crashes into the bus ahead causing a pile-up. "Diane, are you okay?"

"What was that?"

"I don't know. It moved too fast for me to get a good look. Can you open your side?"

Pulling the handle repeatedly "Nope, it's jammed. I'm fine, go see if the people in front need help." Clambering through the window "Maran, it was just the one running over there, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I can see four."

Maran scans the surrounding area, spots more stumbling towards the collision. "They're trying to circle us in."

Diane starts loading the weapons in the back, calls out; "We'll have to fight them off. Do any of you have guns?"


	9. Nine

"Could you tell me where the Williams family lives?" Kaidan asks the kid on the bike.

Circling around the strangers, "How do you know them?"

"We knew their daughter."

"Ashley?"

"Yeah"

"She was my cousin, was it really like that out there?, I used to hear my aunt and cousins talk about her stories."

"You've heard the one about the volus and the salarian?"

Nodding his head, "Yep, five times."

"So, the family's house?"

"Sure, down on Rosemount Avenue, I'm going there myself." Not bothering to see if the pair are following, he peddles ahead.

"Hi, Aunt Helen. There's people here to see you."

"I can see that, Stephen. Leave the bike in the shed, cookies in the tin if you want any."

"Thanks." Shepard is taken aback at how similar the woman greeting them was to their former friend.

"Hello, Mrs Williams. I'm Ame..."

"I know who you are. Come in, both of you."

"We're sorry for your loss, Ma'am."

"Sit down, do you want some tea?"

"Yes, please." "No, thank you."

"Ashley often mentioned you in her vid streams. She loved working on the Normandy."

"Do you take sugar in your tea, Kaidan?"

"Two please, Ma'am."

"How many times do I have to ask, call me Helen."

"Too used to formality, I suppose, Ma'am... Sorry, Helen. We found an old book of Ashley's still on the ship."

"Keep it, she always left one copy here in case the other girls wanted to read them and brought the other with her. She said you had talked about your favourites with her, she would want you to have those."

"Thank you, Ma'am."

Dragging the bar off the door, he motions for the others to stay back. There's less of the creatures now, probably headed for a more populated area. Still enough to warrant caution though. Peeking out quickly, noting where the pair are standing, a silencer is handed over, grenades would bring more of them.

Flicking the safety off, the asari next to him hurls a singularity towards the two. He takes aim at the floating monstrosities. "You're getting better at this, Daniel."

"Thanks, Maran."

"Hey, Ash. We brought your favourites, chrysanthiums and tiger lilies like you said."

"Would you get rid of these, Amelle? I'll ask the grounds keeper for some water."

Walking beside him. _Thank you, they're lovely._

"Haven't seen you in a while, where'd you run off to?"

_Can't be around you all the time. I went back to Earth a few weeks back._

"How's Anderson?"

_About as well as can be expected._

Outside the infirmary "Hey Gabby. Headache?"

"Nope. Just need painkillers."

"Same here."

"You too, Pam?"

"Three in with the doc right now, seems like we all might have the same thing."

"Can we have the week off then?" Gabby asks while clutching her stomach.

"A few days should be fine, I'll tell Joker to head back to the Citadel, we'll need more supplies and ammo. Maybe Ken and Vega should get them for us."

"Target practice, anyone? I'm setting it up in the cargo hold."

"You won't find it on the Citadel."

"Kasumi!. Don't sneak up on me again." Pulls the shop screen back up, flicking through the items.

Sidling over in her vantage point behind him. "No. No. That's not the one."

"What do you want, Kasumi?

"I'm bored. There's not much call for my skills on board."

"Come down off your perch. If none of these are right, you can give me a hand picking one out."

"Give me a minute. Is this lot really all you could find?"

"On the Citadel sites, yeah."

"I have one you might like more than those."

"Fine, let's see it." Tapping away. "Here you go."

"Where did you get it?"

"Does that really matter to you?"

"Yes."

"I didn't steal it. It was given to me as payment for a job years ago. Do you want it or not?"

"Garrus? Do you have a few minutes to talk?"

"Sure, Tali. Don't need to recalibrate the cannons til Thursday. Drink?"

"Any suitable for Quarians back there?"

"Nope, might be something else you can take in the fridge. Chakwas left me some filtered brandy, perhaps it'll do?"

"Thanks, could really use it right now."

"That bad?"

"It made a nest. It crawled behind the dispersion controls and made a nest!"

"Legion again?"

"Robotic oily bosh'tet! Will you ask Shepard to replace the food dispenser? Everything out of it tastes slightly tinny since It tried to 'interact' or 'achieve consensus' with the unit. How many terms does It have for 'mech-curious'?"

"It tastes the same to me as it always did but that explains why Joker was complaining about the meat substitute."

"I swear one of these days..."

The door whirrs open. "Tali, Garrus."

In unison "Shepard."

Rummaging in the fridge "Do either of you want another one?"

"Not yet, thanks."

"You seem a bit glum, Tali. what did Legion do this time?"

"Just because It's the only geth on the ship does not excuse the times It gets frustrated enough to start playing with the panels and wiring in engineering. Or my other suits."

"Let's sort this out right now. EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

"Tell Legion, their presence is required in the crew lounge."

"Very well, Shepard."

"Shepard-Commander?"

"Legion, you've been on this ship a while now, I thought you had settled in with the crew."

"Shepard-Commander, we have tried to reach a consensus with those on board."

"If you touch a single button or wire in the engineering area, I will shoot you out the garbage chute so fast, passing ships will think you're a disco ball. And stay away from the next catering unit."

"Affirmative, Shepard-Commander."

Shepard downs the rest of her beer, "EDI? Locate Major Alenko."

"Major Alenko is in your shared room" The door whirrs shut on her heel.

"Normandy-Tali, what is a disco ball?"

"Garrus, your turn. Where are the straws?"


	10. Ten

"Liara, I'm trying to arrange a get-together. I need your help to find everyone. Please?"

"Shepard's birthday? Of course I'll help, Kaidan. Do you have a list on you?"

"No, I don't know all the names of the SR-2 crew. I was hoping you would have them."

"Leave it with me. Did you have somewhere in mind for this reunion?"

"Doran's bar on the Citadel. I found a bakery that can make multi-species cakes. What about Legion?"

"He'll probably think the music is a group discussion and join in, he'll be happy to be included. If he starts clicking, just nod and smile or ignore him."

"I want it to be a surprise so I'm going to try and get her off the ship for a while. Kasumi suggested buying a dress but I don't even know where to start, all I've seen her wear are BDU's or armour. Do you think she'd like any of these or should I buy a suit instead?"

"I've only seen her in a dress once, it was a bit odd. A black suit is probably your safest bet but something different wouldn't hurt. Go with the dark green sleeved one, are there shoes with it?"

"No. The saleboy tried to sell me some pink ones to go with the black dress."

"Get a pair she can run in."

"Yeah. Thanks, Liara." Putting them back in the boxes. "You haven't spent much time with her lately, have you?"

"No, I don't think anyone has, with so much going on."

"If we could get her to put down the datapads for an hour or two to sleep or talk to you..."

_bzzt_

_b_zzt

The cabin door remains closed to him. "EDI? Is the privacy lock activated?"

"Yes, Alenko. I detected an alteration in Shepard's breathing patterns and thought it best that she was not to be disturbed."

"You can release the lock now, EDI. Probably fell asleep on the couch again." Goosebumps prickle his arms as the door whirrs shut behind. Tapping the thermostat "6'C?. I know we run hotter than others but this is ridiculous."

"Hey Ash."

_Kaidan. She's really not dealing well with it._

"I think that went out the window a long time ago. I should have adjusted the temperature controls in here too."

_Sorry, I thought an hour or two would be fine, even if she doesn't know I'm around._

"I'll change the settings, you can come up anytime."

_Thanks. Is the cargo bay empty?_

"No, Vega and Cortez are still awake. Use the terminal if you want."

"On the datapads again? And not even a blanket..."A gentle shake garners no reaction. Lifting her easily, it's harder not to stumble the few steps down than he thought. "Come on, sleepyhead. Why do you only use the bed when I'm here?"

Doesn't bother to undress her before pulling the blankets over, stripping quickly he crawls in beside, inching closer to warm her up.

"Hey, Shep. Why didn't you wake me?"

"You looked so peaceful."

"Mm. Next time, wake me."

"Hey James, up for sparring again?"

"Nah, learnt my lesson the last time." He continues with his pull-ups.

"Heard back about the N7 program yet?"

"Not so far. Probably won't til the war's over."

"You're bound to get in."

"Commander, are we near the Citadel yet? I need to get some new parts for the engines."

"Another hour or so, Steve."

The box on the bed is unexpected since the door is locked most of the time after finding Kasumi in one of the corners near her personal terminal. 'Meet me on the Presidium at 6:00.'

Murmuring "What is he up to now?" Prising it open as she would a dodgy package. "Huh."

"Amelle, you look beautiful."

"Thank you for the dress."

"I thought you might like to go out for dinner tonight." Holding out his arm, she slips hers through.

"Another sanity check?"

"Not this time, a date."

"Last week, the dress, you're spoiling me."

"Well, it is your birthday... if I can't spoil the woman I love today, when can I?" Slightly blushing now, she splutters, "I don't remember telling you the date before, did I?" Breaking into a grin, "You're cute when you blush."


	11. Eleven

"T'soni, Vakarian." Gruffly he hugs them.

"Wrex."

"No sign of the others yet?"

"They're all about here somewhere. Come on, I'll introduce you to everyone." Garrus leads him away, "Hi, have you met Wrex?"

"Hello, Wrex. Long time since I saw your ugly mug."

"Zaeed! When did you get roped in?"

"I was given a contract through Cerberus. Good thing it didn't last."

"You mean Shepard's track record for hunting down their goons."

"Yep. Think I'm leaving the merc life behind me."

"About time too, old man."

"Less of the 'old man' crap, I'm still a better shot than you. Now what are you having, you overgrown turtle?" Zaeed slaps him on the back as they head for the bar.

An hour later, once the banter is well underway, Liara shoots a questioning look at Kaidan; receiving a near imperceptible nod, she and Garrus head to the bar.

Helping to carry the cakes out. Tali starts to sing, others joining in after a few seconds. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Amelle, happy birthday to you!"

"Hey Joker, it's your round. So how did you find out, Jacob?"

"Thought it was just Kasumi being Kasumi when things started to go missing around the ship, so I didn't bother mentioning it to Shepard at the time. Miranda and I got everything back where it was supposed to be." Miranda chipped in "First it was some poetry book from Shepard's cabin while she was off ship. Then one of my paper weights and a few datapads with weapon calibrations on them, Garrus told me about those. There were less towels in the shower lockers than were bought by Cerberus" "Couldn't go a week without something being taken, never did get my favourite gun back." Jack groaned "Come on, Kai, you can't sit there all night, show me these 'famous' moves of yours" Kaidan allowed her to drag him to the dance floor as long as she got him a drink after.

"We did talk to her after the fourth time when we found one of Tali's suits in the hoard as well, she swore it wasn't her, even though she's the only one who could go unseen throughout the ship. As everyone considered Garrus to be Shepard's second in command, he told her if it happened a fifth time he would have no choice but to inform Shepard, EDI agreed to alert Garrus should Kasumi use her cloaking device onboard the ship again."

"For three and a half weeks nothing went missing even though Kasumi used her cloak twice during that period. It was guns and bullets going missing now and writing showing up on the mirror in the captain's bathroom, Shepard never did tell anyone what she read but EDI could prove that it wasn't Kasumi who was responsible. That's when Mordin was asked to run some tests around the ship for temperature drops and chemical imbalances."

"Hm, yes, did a diagnostic, it turned out to be something called ectoplasm." Kelly piped up "That's when I tried to do a 'seance'." "Nonsense, messages left already, so can talk with whatever it is, don't need a board."

"You're not half bad"

"Thanks"

"Compared to Shep at least"

"I've tried to teach her how to but she'd rather be at the bar most times."

Weaving through the crowd "May I?" Jack shrugs "Sure" "Whiskey, right?" "yeah, thanks Jack."

Shuffling closer "I asked them to play something different"

"What?" Shepard just smiles as she guides his hands while an old song is piped through the Doran's sound system. "When did you...?"

"I asked Miranda for a few lessons. I wanted to surprise you."

"You've certainly done that. Was going to wait to mention this but I managed to track down another bottle of the whiskey you gave me in hospital, Karin offered me the name of the shop she usually buys hers from if I'd do a favour for her soon." He can feel the way she's trying not to laugh. "You knew?"

"Karin did say something about waiting for a delivery of new equipment for the infirmary last week. My guess is that favour will be you hefting crates."

"I'll just use my biotics then."

"No, you won't. Most of the time, she has no help bringing supplies up. It wouldn't hurt to do a little work that doesn't involve gunfire, what if I give you a hand with it?"

"Somehow I think that's not what she wants. Whatever it is, it's worth it. How about we leave the others to catch up and head somewhere else?"

"Where to?"

"I hope you don't mind, I took the liberty of booking hotel rooms for everyone tonight. I figured the ship might not have enough space for the entire group. Liara made sure to tell them where to go."

"Is it far to walk? Cause I think I'm ready to go now." Tilting his head towards the tables "You don't want to say goodnight?"

"Kai, they're having one night without the war being mentioned, let's not interrupt them, we all deserve tonight." Nibbling his ear 'Gah' "Ames, you know what that does to me."

"Sure I do, Sparky. And how good it feels..."

"Don't think I can wait that long, we're gonna need a cab."

She pulls back to face him, eyes filled with _want_; "Booked one half an hour ago."

Finally tired out she leans back against him seeking the comfort of warmth to keep her from dreaming. An electric burr along the arm slung over her wakes him many hours later. "Mmf."

"Ames? What is it?"

"Just a bad dream. It doesn't matter."

"Do you want breakfast in bed? Menu's in the drawer. I'll call down for room service."

"The fruit platters and coffee sounds good. Best make it a big order, enjoy today while we can."

Picking at the food on the table, "Why don't we make a weekend of this?"

Sidling over, she sits opposite him. "Tempting as you are and as much as I'd love to, the Reapers are still out there."

"So, once the Reapers are gone, what do you think you'll do?"

"Honestly, never really gave much thought to it. There's always going to be the rebuilding, I suppose, that'll take a long time."

"And us?"

"Assuming we survive? Together, I hope. Kaidan, what are you...?" On one knee "I was going to do this last night... Amelle, we've been through a lot since Eden, a few times I thought 'this is it, this is how it ends', on Virmire and Mars."

"I want all of it with you, wherever we end up. I know we shouldn't be making any promises but if we make it through London, will you marry me?"

"Are you sure? You've always wanted kids, what if I can't? I don't know if that was even considered when Cerberus brought me back. And we haven't been back together for all that long..."

"I'm not talking about running off and doing it right now. Maybe in a year or two, after the war. You'd be a great mother and even if that doesn't happen we could adopt. I'm sure. I love you, Amelle, I want to grow old with you if the universe lets us."

"Yes, I'll marry you."


	12. Twelve

"Mordin, you don't have to do this."

"Yes, Commander, I do. My fault, my responsibility. Goodbye Shepard."

"I am the very model of a scientist Salaria..."

_Mordin? I'm Ashley. It's done._

"When this is over, I'm gonna be waiting for you. You better show up."

_Always_

"You know, I've never been to London before."

"Shepard? Shepard, wake up! Mordin, can you give me a hand, can you tell if she's breathing?"

"Can't see chest rising. the heart?"

"Seems to be intact, could you do anything inside?"

"Perhaps, never passed through someone before, have you?"

"Not so far, a friend told me how to do it."

"Tell me? I'll need to see all damage."

"Sure, might work better that way. Is your hovering any better? You'll have to kind of settle back into her body."

"Very well."

"We have to get her heart pumping again."

"Damn it Shepard...breathe, just breathe."

"Admiral, if you're sending any rescue teams up to the Citadel, my wife and I volunteer."

"Are you certain, Doctor Gorsky?"

"Yes, if there is anyone still alive up, they will need urgent medical attention, you helped us find our family, we want to help in any way we can."

_hearing laughter_

_Hello...where are you? hey kids, wait a minute, stop._

_loses them in the shadows_

_A figure in the distance picks up the little girl and boy easily._

_Wait, please. Where am I?_

"Ma'am." pats the bench next to her

_Ashley? Why are we in a forest?_

"You're dreaming, Ma'am."

_I'm sorry, Ashley._

"I know, Ma'am. You have to go." shoves her to the tree line "He's fighting back, they all are."

_The crew isn't the same without you, Ash. I miss you._

"You've been here too long already. They're all waiting for you."

"We'll see each other again. Don't worry, I have Mordin to keep me company, it's not so bad once you get used to the singing. Jenkins sure is excitable too."

The sudden noise makes him jump; "Major Coats! We found one!"

"Move the rubble off them. Pulse?"

"Weak and thready, but it's there."

"I'll call it in."

"Joker, can you find somewhere to dock?"

"Down there? No chance. I'll have to drop you off outside the city."

'Shep? what happened? Shep, keep talking to me, tell me what you can see, can you move?'

_beep_

_beep_

Waking to an insistent hum

_beep, beep, beep beep beeeeeep_

_murmers_ "huh? Nurse! She's coming round!" "Could you step back, we need to get her stabilised."

"Ssh, don't be scared, it's ok, we got you, don't try to move too much, you're in hospital."

"Major."

"Admiral Hackett."

"Has there been any change?"

"She's out of the coma, Sir. I can't get anything else out of the doctors."

"Wait here." The admiral's appearance is enough to register Shepard's status.

"Kaidan, you look terrible. Sitting out here won't help, why don't you go back to your rooms, get some sleep. I'll take this turn."

"Okay, Garrus. Call."

"Any change, I know."


	13. Thirteen

"Doctor? How is she?"

"Doctor Gorsky. She'll be out of action for a long time, I'm going to arrange some physiotherapy when her muscles are in a better condition. I want to keep visitors to two at a time. She won't know a lot of things. Go easy on her."

mimics writing

"Here"

tries to shuffle up a bit

"let me"

"better?"

sees how bandaged she is

my arm?

I can't feel much, how bad is it?

"What the last thing you remember?"

t.i.m., anderson, crucible lift

what happened? are they all gone?

"There was an explosion on the Crucible, the Reapers were destroyed but so were the relays"

"Edi's dead and the few geth that came with the quarians just collapsed all at once"

"The doctors tried their best, I'm sorry we couldn't get to you sooner, they had to amputate your left arm below the elbow and your left foot, you were covered in burns when we, when I found you, they were so busy with all the other casualties, they couldn't stop the infection fast enough."

"Do you want some water? There must be a jug in one of these cupboards."

how long?

"You had to be kept in an induced coma, the explosion caused some bleeding in your brain. It's been ten months since it happened."

Jeff?

"He didn't talk much for a while, he won't come to see you."

anyone else injured?

Minutes drag by as he stubbornly looks anywhere else in the room except her.

who?

look at me.

Garrus? Tali? Liara? any of our friends?

"no, they had minor injuries in comparison"

then who in our crew died?

Again the silence stretches out between them.

WHO?

places a hand on her stomach

"You were pregnant."

how?

the nanites?

"Miranda and Karin could explain it better than I can, they'll be here soon."

how long?

"Roughly 12-14 weeks. Twins. They were fighters, just like you. Four months old now"

"The doctors aren't sure if you could carry another pregnancy to full-term with the nanites so depleted from trying to repair the damage to you and protecting them."

shakes against him

Did someone give them names?

"Not formally. I was waiting until we could pick their names together. Maybe Hannah after your mother or Ash for a middle name? I couldn't come up with one that seemed to suit our little boy."

"Do you want to see them now?"

Not yet. Are they healthy?

"Yes, all fingers and toes and powerful lungs, couldn't get them to sleep a full night through for a week without separating them. Garrus is looking after them for a little while, I think he'd agree if we asked him to be a godparent or the Turian equivalent, Turians do have something similar to that, right?."

We'll ask him when I'm a bit better.

"They like it when we make small balls of energy for them. Too early to tell if our biotics can passed on like the Asari but at least our kids don't seem scared of Wrex when he puts on a little show for them, levitating their toys across the room."

"I know we talked about possibly having the whole settled thing; marriage, family, spending vacations at my parents' place on the cape, how we'd have our friends come for a barbecue and Tali would complain about the potato salad not being suitable for Quarian biology or Wrex and Grunt wanting their meat well-done because that's the way it's always cooked, after the war. I just never realised how big our family already is."

Please stop, Kaidan. I need some rest.

"I'll be back tomorrow, Amelle. I know it's a lot to take in one go but if anyone can, it's you."

_(Edit: A.N. While I still hope to continue writing stories for what i dub the Broken'verse, it may be quite some time before any more are posted as I'm swamped with class, work and family stuff. For this part, this is the final chapter.)_


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